literature

The Cool

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CnHGirl's avatar
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Literature Text

The Cool

I only live, submerged, in the cool,
Color, sound, movement, that's my life's rule.
No one can teach it, ain't in no school,
Only way to learn is to not be a tool.
The cage against the wings, the neverending duel,
The dull, the plain, preserved only for the fool,
Live life, breathe air, make your own rule,
So when you dive, you dive…into the cool.
Again, from my former school's publication.
© 2010 - 2024 CnHGirl
Comments3
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Caity-Kitten's avatar
I felt like you had to force the fourth line a little bit, I think you originally wanted to rhyme tool adn school but its worded like you had to shove it in there rather than it just slipped out. As well the third alst line (the one ending in fool) is worded oddly because it should technically be "foolish" but it kidna works out.I thought the "..." in teh last line was unescessary, it didn't really add anything, I think a comma would suffice. Overall there was a good use of punctuation and teh first line was really good as well as teh ending whcih related us back to teh beginning of the piece. I like the story behind it and I think t sends out a good messege.

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